I’m not talking about the the slogan Nancy Reagan coined in the 80’s…it’s not about drugs and alcohol…it’s about your well-being.
Everybody can benefit from understanding why saying NO is important to do in our lives. We are often inclined to want to say YES, for many, it’s like instinct…often at the expense of compromising ourselves. It can be extremely hard to say NO, but doing so can be so liberating, not to mention it is a way we can take care of ourselves. Setting boundaries is a simple standard we can set for ourselves, one that can help us to better manage our lives. Here are some ways you can learn to say NO, while understanding just how important it is.
Reasons we often say YES.
Perhaps the best way to explore why saying NO is important is to analyze the reasons we so often say YES.
1. Avoid Confrontation
Very few people enjoy confrontation. Sometimes, saying YES is an easy way out. It spares us the discomfort of perhaps having to explain ourselves ( Mmmm, do we need to explain ourselves? or are we worried about how others will respond to us if we say NO? See # 2)
2. People Pleasing
Think of a “Yes Person” – someone who all too often says YES to seemingly please other people or bend to a situation. Sometimes, we may find ourselves doing this often, perhaps more often than we would like. We may wind up wondering why we feel resentful of others and situations…perhaps, we are overextending ourselves pleasing others.
3. Fear of Missing Out (F O M O)
OMG ! What would happen if you said NO to a friend’s gathering, or an after-work cocktail party, or a family event…you might run the risk of missing out on critical information that would result in that dreaded social disease, FOMO. And, worse yet, you would be missing from the Instagram photos, which would lead to all kinds of suspicions and rumors of biblical proportions. Additionally, people feel naturally compelled to “overdo it” for the same fear and may say YES to any situation out of a compulsive nature.
Power of Saying No
When we begin to say no more often, it allows us more flexibility to make the right decisions for ourselves. This has a tremendous effect on our mental health, as it allows us to value ourselves, our time and the choices we make. It also helps us prioritize ourselves…this can even lead us to new opportunities that wouldn’t have been achievable by saying YES everywhere else.
It also allows us to set boundaries. Since boundaries in mental health treatment are ever-so critical, saying no allows us to develop the necessary skills and tips for setting boundaries ahead of time. It’s a great way to provide self-care.
Learn to Say No
Even if we begin to implement these thought processes into our mindsets, we will still find ourselves in numerous situations where saying “yes” is the better decision. So how do we know exactly when to say no? How do we know when it feels right or wrong?
When we learn to say no, we must ask ourselves certain questions about the situation: will saying YES prevent me from focusing on something that’s more important to me? Will saying YES make me even more tired or burnt out? Will saying YES compromise me in any way? These questions give us the framework for allowing us to say NO. Also, trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right…you need to pay attention to that.
Other tips that are recommended to help you learn to say no include:
- Rehearse – Ask yourself these questions and rehearse the way you wish to convey your thoughts and feelings.
- Be honest – There is never a need to lie about why you are saying no.
- Offer alternatives – Sometimes providing another way to go about something can help prevent you from saying YES.
- Do not rush – You don’t need to say no to everything, but give yourself time to think through the consequences of committing, and then properly give a response.
Your Mental Health is Key
With more light now shed on why saying NO is important, take time to prioritize your needs. Setting boundaries in life can protect your mental health and provide you with ways to combat certain negative outcomes in your life in a more a productive way. Remember…saying NO is not a bad thing, sometimes saying NO translates into a big YES for you !
One20 Tuesday 