One20 Tuesday

Not the movie…but our lives! By the way…today’s blog may take three minutes to read, instead of two…but, if you suffer from anxiety and panic, it will be worth it to read to the end.

For many, anxiety and panic attacks are a life debilitating struggle, even in lesser degrees, both can be extremely disruptive to navigating through our daily lives. A drive to the office, a day at school, dining out, having to go to a party, being away from home, plane travel, dental visits, being in large open spaces, being closed indoors, public speaking, meeting new people, worrying about your kids, your marriage, YOUR LIFE! It’s enough to make you scream…and some people do…and some actually should…go ahead, grab a pillow, stick your face in it and let it rip!

Never have people been so anxious and so open about their anxiety and panic, which is a good thing. For many years, people hid behind the shame of mental illness, feeling that they were different, believing if they told others about their fears, concerns and limitations that they would be judged and thought less of. So, they held back from expressing themselves, hid behind different reasons to mask their fear, anxiety and panic and often avoided living their lives…robbing themselves of fulfilling experiences. Having anxiety and the fear of anxiety and panic masks itself in so many ways. Some might present as not being interested or anti-social, some may behave in hostile and aggressive ways to protect themselves, some are over talkative, some over busy themselves with endless activities, some fidget all over the place, some use substances to try and kill the emotional pain their anxiety and panic causes in their lives, many sabotage all kinds of relationships; both personal and professionally, because of behaviors that are driven as a result of fear and anxiety.

I focus a good deal of my private therapy/coaching practice on helping people better manage their anxiety, panic and trauma. It’s something that I feel very passionate about, having suffered myself from panic and anxiety at a very young age. Many years ago, discussing anxiety and panic was not an open subject. In the 1970’s when I first realized that something was not right, I didn’t seem to be like other kids…they all seemed lighthearted and carefree. I was always thinking and worrying. I was often told in school that I just needed to calm down and focus on my schoolwork (my parents were often told that I was an extremely bright, but distracted child…yes, I was, I was distracted by my anxious thoughts and feelings!) It was strange, but no one ever really investigated at that time or questioned why children were feeling so anxious. My behavior was chalked up as being many things including, difficult and emotional, yet highly creative and expressive. My brothers just thought I was the weird sibling. All I knew in my young mind was that if the Russians decided to press the button while I was at school, I might not have enough time to grab my Barbie lunchbox and run home to be with my family for the nuclear meltdown (we were still in a very cold place with Russian relations and I watched too much news for a little kid) My fears and anxiety were at Defcon 5 for a child, as it was for many kids…but, no one was talking about it. So, guess what? Anxious kids became anxious adults. Thankfully, I found a great therapist at the age of twenty that changed the trajectory of my life and gave me tools to begin managing my anxiety. And, then came psychotropic medications (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro- to name a few) that changed people’s lives in a way they could have never imagined. Thank God ! Not that I am a pill pusher by any means, and I would much rather instill holistic practices and tools to assist my clients…but, occasionally, medications are necessary to help people better manage their lives and that’s okay. Sometimes, we just need a little extra assistance while we are working on becoming better versions of ourselves.

First, I think it is important to understand the difference between anxiety and panic. I often hear people used these terms as if they were the same thing. They are not. Although, many people suffer from both. Anxiety is often characterized as feeling on edge, easily fatigued, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, excessive worrying and sleep problems. All of us are anxious at one time or another. Panic, on the other hand, is a group of symptoms that may include; a sense of impending danger, fear of losing control, fear of death, rapid heart rate, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, chills, hot flashes, nausea, cramping, chest pain, headaches, lightheadedness, numbness and tingling and feelings of detachment and situations feeling surreal. As you can see, there is a marked difference between anxiety and a full-blown panic attack, that may or may not include all the symptoms described. Also, anxiety may be chronically felt, where panic attacks occur in intense, brief episodes and generally subside on average of 5 and 20 minutes. Anxiety is often associated with a situation or events in your life and although panic can be related to that as well, sometimes panic attacks seem to come out of nowhere, exacerbating their intensity and the fear of them occurring.

So, what do you do? Often, people who suffer from anxiety and panic feel like they are never going to get better or find successful ways to manage their feelings…I’m here to say it is not true and there are many tools and techniques that can help you successfully manage these emotions and experiences. Most of them fairly easy to try. Ok, let’s do this…

A very simple thing to do is, BREATHE. You would be amazed at how many people walk around just taking shallow breaths that don’t properly oxygenate their bodies. Make it a practice to stop throughout your day and take 10 deep breaths. At first, it may feel dizzying, but keep it up. Getting more air in does reduce anxiety and can reduce severity of panic attack symptoms.

HYDRATE. Getting enough water daily is essential. I know they say drink half your body weight, but if you can get 3-4 bottles of water into yourself daily, even that can make a difference. When you are anxious, you tend to breathe more rapidly and dehydrate. Also, when you focus of drinking water, you are using your left brain, which is a good distraction.

KEEP BUSY. FYI, left brain activities, require you give thought to what you are doing. When you are anxious, and you engage in a left-brain activity (do a puzzle, add up numbers, put something together, do something technical) this will get you out of a feeling space into a distracted thinking space and may reduce your anxiety.

GET MOVING. Exercising, just a quick, brief walk releases endorphins (feel good hormones) and if you are experiencing panic, which is a rush of adrenaline, walking or working out in some way helps to expend that burst of energy your body is producing…moving and using up that energy can help calm it down.

EAT WELL. It’s a given that eating junk is not good for you across the board. However, foods high in sugar and carbs can trigger panic, especially if you are not burning off the sugar. Same goes for sodas, caffeine drinks, juices and alcohol. Try and eat clean as much as possible. Your body will thank you and it can reduce food triggers that may contribute to your mental health.

SLEEP. Get enough of it. I know they say 8 hrs, however, I have not slept 8 hours since I was an infant. My thinking is if you can get solid sleep, that is what it the most important. I’ll take 4-5 hrs. of steady sleeping (not getting up to go to the bathroom, tossing and turning, etc. ) over 8 hrs. of getting up and down. Also, remember to create a desirable environment to sleep. Clean sheets, ambient lighting, proper temperature (perhaps a little cooler) soft clothing or none at all, essential oils…whatever creates comfort and calms you…your sleeping space should be say “sleep”. Not buzzing with TV, electronics, light and noise.

BE MINDFUL. Become more aware of your triggers. What sets off your anxiety and feelings of panic? Family dinners? Dates? Confrontation? Public speaking? Dental procedures? Once you have an awareness, then you can do something about it. Avoid certain situations as much as possible and always acknowledge your feelings. Validate that what happens to you is real, don’t dismiss it and don’t allow others to dismiss it either. Anxiety and panic are very real and should be treated as a mental health disorder.

ACCEPTANCE. You cannot control everything. Try and put your stress into perspective. Are things as bad as you think? Use your noggin’. Test out your fears…I always encourage my clients to ask themselves…”Is this my fear? or Is this my truth?” Sometimes, this simple question can take your anxiety down a notch or two just by challenging the anxiety provoking thoughts.

WELCOME HUMOR. Find ways to laugh. A good podcast, a funny movie, conversation with an amusing friend, reading a humorous book, watching clumsy people do Tai-Chi in the park…anything that will put a smile on your face and elevate your mood.

GET INVOLVED. Volunteer or find another way to get involved in your community, which may create connections and a support network, diminishing feelings of being alone and distract you from your daily stress.

KEEP UP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. Swap out those negative thoughts for positive ones. It’s a simple exercise that can have outcomes to make you feel better. Truth is, if you feel like you are going to have a shi*ty day, most likely you will. Try and shift your thinking to the possibility of having a good day or experience. The thing is, each one of those thoughts require the same amount of energy, why not try the positive one?

TALK TO SOMEONE. Tell friends and family about your feelings of overwhelm, let them know you are open to support. Call a therapist or coach to schedule a session. Isolation only exacerbates the negative feelings of anxiety. REACH OUT…someone will listen.

DO YOUR BEST. Instead of aiming for perfection because, it’s just not possible. Be proud of yourself, for any and all accomplishments. Readjust your expectations. Most people are doing the best that they can but beat themselves up for not doing more or enough. Stop and review what you do accomplish and give yourself credit where it is due, rather than always focusing on what did not get accomplished.

Most importantly…have patience and compassion for yourself. The care and relief you are seeking all begins with Y O U.