Special Delivery (And No, Not from Santa or the Stork)
I’m talking about how we deliver information—how our voice, tone, and content land on the people we speak to.
Communication is essential in everything we do. Whether it’s spoken, written, gestured, or just a look—how we communicate reflects how we move through life. Take this example:
You walk into work and say abruptly to your assistant:
“What are you doing? What time did you get in? Have you made those calls I told you to make yet?”
Whoa. Good morning to you too, fella! Just a heads-up: a cheerful greeting can do wonders to kick-start a productive day. The person on the receiving end of that little outburst probably isn’t feeling too motivated or appreciated.
Now let’s replay that scene—same message, but delivered with a little more thought and grace:
“Good morning! What’s up?” (pause for response)
“How was your commute today?” (listen)
“Were you able to get to those calls we discussed?” (again, pause and listen)
See? Same questions, different vibe. You’ve opened a dialogue instead of launching an interrogation. It’s not what we say—it’s how we say it. A simple concept, but one that many people miss.
Why? Why do so many people go through the day sounding like they’re throwing knives with their words—without even realizing it? (Okay, guilty as charged…sometimes.)
Sure, we’re all stressed in some way. But the truth is, most people have never been taught how to communicate effectively—how to express their thoughts, feelings, or needs in a way that others can actually hear.
Here’s a tip: Most people just want to be heard and validated. They’re not looking for solutions to the mysteries of life. If more parents, partners, teachers, and bosses practiced this, therapists might be out of business.
Honestly, “How to Talk to Other Human Beings 101” should be a basic class in kindergarten—with refresher courses at life checkpoints. It’s as important as retaking your driver’s exam after age 80. (Some people shouldn’t be behind the wheel… or holding a megaphone without guidance. Know anyone like that? Thought so.)
Want to Communicate Better?
Here are a few ways to up your game:
1. Practice Active Listening
Give the other person your full attention.
Don’t interrupt.
Show open, relaxed body language.
Rephrase what they say to show understanding.
Ask thoughtful questions.
If you can’t give your full attention in the moment, say something like:
“Patrick, it sounds like this is important, but I can’t focus right now. Can we talk later or tomorrow?”
Acknowledging their importance goes a long way—way better than checking your watch and jingling change in your pocket.
2. Show Empathy
Try to understand both what they’re saying and what they’re feeling.
Be mindful of your own emotions and how they come across.
3. Mind Your Body Language
Slumped posture, distracted eyes, or constant texting sends a message—even if your words don’t.
Be aware. Make eye contact. Be present.
4. Give (and Receive) Feedback
Ask for feedback. Use it to grow.
Offer constructive feedback to help others grow too.
5. Adapt Your Communication Style
Be direct and specific, but consider your audience.
You’d speak differently to little Timmy than to your boss… right? (I hope so!)
And please, if you ask a question—listen to the answer. There’s nothing more embarrassing than hearing,
“I just told you that.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to talking with you.
Here’s to good communication—and better connections.
Michele
(aka, that chatty woman)
One20 Tuesday 